I was told right from the beginning that there would be times when I just could not do what I wanted to do. Of course...I know that...I will just do the best I can. That is just what I have done, so far, but now I feel like I am crashing against a wall with a list of stuff to do that is a mile long and there is no one around who can help me with it. Passover starts Monday! My house is not ready. My kitchen is not ready. I am not ready! I said I would not be as fussy this year about how things were done. Unfortunately I am still me. I still am obsessive about doing "things right." I still feel like if it is not done right, it is not done. Too much right now.
I know my husband said he would "take care of it." He will do what he can, but he can't do it all. The girls did their rooms. I'm sorry girls, but those rooms are not PASSOVER CLEAN. I know you tried and I know I am being way too critical today, but panic mode has set in and I am feeling overwhelmed. I will try to relax and let you finish on Saturday but if I don't see action Saturday morning I know I am going to freak and try to do it myself. Please...save me from me.
I have stressed also over school this week. It seems like there is a never-ending list of assignments that need to be managed. I seem to cram it all in on Monday and Tuesday (bad planning on my part), which only adds to my list of things to obsess over. Luckily everything is done now (except the Passover cleaning) and I am going to take a few minutes for me. After lunch I will see how I feel and maybe, just maybe, I will clean my own bedroom and cross that off the list. If things go really well, maybe the bathroom will get cleaned too, but I don't think I am going to push myself too hard. I will try hard to pace myself so I can get through class tonight. I don't want to fall asleep on the way home!
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
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