It seems like this cancer thing is never going to end. Yet, here I am, three treatments away from being finished with radiation -- the last step in treatment. At this time next week I will be done with cancer treatment. I will still be healing from the side effects (like wounds that won't heal and radiation burns) but I will be able to close the book on being a cancer patient. I will call myself a cancer survivor on Monday afternoon, after treatment. I look forward to this. I has been almost exactly a year since I was diagnosed and I will be done. Whew!!!
In the meantime I am on vacation from school (work) and am trying to get my school (school) work under control. There is such ugliness surrounding the online course and I feel badly about it. I really look forward to it being done though. I will do assessments on my nephews today so that I can put that part of the critical task behind me. The problem is that once I get it done, if history is true, the assignment will change and the work I have done will be for naught. Patience and perseverence. This is just another hoop on my way to my degree.
Otherwise, Emily is feeling better. Bubba is happy to have us home. The new mattress and boxspring were delivered this morning so I can look forward to a good night's sleep (hopefully) and we are due to get a good snowfall this afternoon. Winter has finally come to New England. The sad part is that it is going to warm up by Friday and Saturday is going to be in the 50s. I guess I am not really too sad about that, really...
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Almost done
I have just finished week #5 of radiation. We have started the boost (the final, focused part of radiation) which means all the burns I have can start to heal. My underarm is a mess and underneath my breast is not much better. It's funny (not haha, but strange) that it took almost 5 weeks for the skin to finally show signs of ongoing burning. OUCH! I will be so glad when this is over. March 5th is my last treatment, which means only 6 left.
I am starting to think my husband gave me his cold. I have a congested feeling in my chest and a tickle in my throat. My sinuses are still clear but there is a slight ache that tells me something is building. I guess if I had to choose between his cold and Emily's mono I would definitely take the cold. I would rather not have either honestly but at least I know the cold will be minimial. I am already taking zinc to help heal my wounds so that, with the vitamin C, will help make it easier to deal with. Add to that the fact I am going to go use my netti pot as soon as I am finished on the computer and I think everything will be just fine.
I skipped school last night. I am feeling a bit tired from working in kindergarten all week in addition to keeping up with school work and running to and from the doctors every day. I also spent my day in Boston yesterday checking in with those doctors. They were so kind to throw in a mammogram on my right breast, just for fun. My first year is coming to an end. I believe I was diagnosed with cancer around March 6th last year and I know I had my first chemo on March 24th. I still don't know when I can officially consider myself cancer free but I kind of do now. I look forward to my yearly checkups and my official five year mark. They will be here before we know it!
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
I am starting to think my husband gave me his cold. I have a congested feeling in my chest and a tickle in my throat. My sinuses are still clear but there is a slight ache that tells me something is building. I guess if I had to choose between his cold and Emily's mono I would definitely take the cold. I would rather not have either honestly but at least I know the cold will be minimial. I am already taking zinc to help heal my wounds so that, with the vitamin C, will help make it easier to deal with. Add to that the fact I am going to go use my netti pot as soon as I am finished on the computer and I think everything will be just fine.
I skipped school last night. I am feeling a bit tired from working in kindergarten all week in addition to keeping up with school work and running to and from the doctors every day. I also spent my day in Boston yesterday checking in with those doctors. They were so kind to throw in a mammogram on my right breast, just for fun. My first year is coming to an end. I believe I was diagnosed with cancer around March 6th last year and I know I had my first chemo on March 24th. I still don't know when I can officially consider myself cancer free but I kind of do now. I look forward to my yearly checkups and my official five year mark. They will be here before we know it!
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
Monday, February 20, 2012
The home stretch
It seems like it has been forever in coming but here we are at last -- the home stretch. I have 10 treatments left in radiation. So far the side effects have been minimal. I have a nice burn in my armpit and one underneath the breast. They told me today that there are only 2 more treatments at that location and then that will begin to heal, which should take about a week. The final location is the surgical site itself, which kind of scares me because this is where the open wound is and it is likely that no further healing will take place until this is all over and done with. The wound is still 2 cm in depth. I had hoped to have it cleared by now but I am truly glad that it has healed as well as it has and is no longer 8 cm in depth.
Otherwise, I am in school all week. I am filling in for a kindergarten class. Today they were horrible! I don't think I have ever said that about a class before. Of the 16 students I think I could say 4 were acting appropriately. The rest were yelling, screaming, running around, throwing themselves down on the floor in tantrums -- anything but what you would expect in a classroom. I promised to go back tomorrow. ;~(
As for my own classes, I almost give up. The online class is almost impossible to anticipate. It seems like every week there is another interview that needs to be accomplished or another data collection that needs to be done. I am begging around for input. I interviewed a special education teacher friend and am begging for reading assessment information where I am now so that I can build a case study for the final project. I can't possibly collect the data myself when I have no students of my own and I don't belong to a particular school body. Luckily I have friends in the schools who are willing to support my efforts. Thanks go out to them!
Keeping the faith!
Kim :~)
Otherwise, I am in school all week. I am filling in for a kindergarten class. Today they were horrible! I don't think I have ever said that about a class before. Of the 16 students I think I could say 4 were acting appropriately. The rest were yelling, screaming, running around, throwing themselves down on the floor in tantrums -- anything but what you would expect in a classroom. I promised to go back tomorrow. ;~(
As for my own classes, I almost give up. The online class is almost impossible to anticipate. It seems like every week there is another interview that needs to be accomplished or another data collection that needs to be done. I am begging around for input. I interviewed a special education teacher friend and am begging for reading assessment information where I am now so that I can build a case study for the final project. I can't possibly collect the data myself when I have no students of my own and I don't belong to a particular school body. Luckily I have friends in the schools who are willing to support my efforts. Thanks go out to them!
Keeping the faith!
Kim :~)
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Coming to an end
The end is near. I can see the light and I am running towards it. Don't worry -- it's a different light. It is the train coming into the tunnel. No, not that one either. Treatment will be finished in two weeks. It might run a little longer for the wound healing but things are still progressing. I have been remapped for the final stage of radiation and am looking at week #5 starting Monday. Amazing...four out of six weeks already done (well, after tomorrow's treatment). I will see my friend Lee (whom I met at radiation) for the last time tomorrow. Her treatment is done. She finishes chemo today and radiation tomorrow. She will be in my thoughts for many years to come with the hope that she never has to go through this again. She told me today this is her second bout of cancer. One is enough for anybody.
I have started training for the cancer walk. I know it is more than a year away but I want to make sure that I have plenty of time to build up my stamina again. I am up to 2 miles a day (not including the dog walks and the running around) -- simply training miles. I bought a pedometer because I was curious how many steps I actually do with all the running around and dog walks. From noon on yesterday I got up to 5700. I have the whole day today but I am not completely sure I will be able to do the 2 miles for training today. Very busy day! School tonight too.
As for me, I am feeling well. I feel strong and happy. I am looking forward. I get frustrated when things do not progress as quickly as I want them to but I try to remember that this is happening on God's timeline and not mine. I need the time to heal and to meet people I am supposed to meet, like Lee and Dr. Kelly. For some reason I am supposed to touch their lives and they are supposed to touch mine. I never really considered that in the overall scheme of things. Now I think about it often. People come, people go, and people linger. We never know who or why.
Keeping the faith!
Kim :~)
I have started training for the cancer walk. I know it is more than a year away but I want to make sure that I have plenty of time to build up my stamina again. I am up to 2 miles a day (not including the dog walks and the running around) -- simply training miles. I bought a pedometer because I was curious how many steps I actually do with all the running around and dog walks. From noon on yesterday I got up to 5700. I have the whole day today but I am not completely sure I will be able to do the 2 miles for training today. Very busy day! School tonight too.
As for me, I am feeling well. I feel strong and happy. I am looking forward. I get frustrated when things do not progress as quickly as I want them to but I try to remember that this is happening on God's timeline and not mine. I need the time to heal and to meet people I am supposed to meet, like Lee and Dr. Kelly. For some reason I am supposed to touch their lives and they are supposed to touch mine. I never really considered that in the overall scheme of things. Now I think about it often. People come, people go, and people linger. We never know who or why.
Keeping the faith!
Kim :~)
Friday, February 10, 2012
Week three done!
Radiation has been going well. I have just finished my third of six weeks and am "looking forward" to starting week four. My doctor tells me that I might start getting tired about now. I will just keep taking my super B vitamin and hopefully that will get me through. Today I have not felt tired yet but sometimes it sets in around 10:00 or so in the morning. I find myself watching the Nate Berkus show and the next thing I know I wake up and the cat is slapping me with her paw because she wants her lunch. Sorry Nate but I have missed most of your shows this week.
Today might be different. I am waiting for a call from my daughter's doctor. She told me a few weeks ago that she had a lump on her neck and I told her to keep an eye on it and let me know if it changes. She had not said anything so I assumed that it had resolved. She tells me yesterday that the lump is still there and getting bigger and that there are other lumps too. We took a quick trip to the doctor's office and she had some blood work done. I am waiting to hear the results. Of course my first thought is lymphoma. After chatting with her on the way home she too is worried about it being cancer. It is "funny" how you think that people around your are totally unconcerned about what is happening and then you realize they have, in fact, been paying attention and that they have fears that they never voiced. I sometimes forget what it was like to be a teenager. You certainly don't want your parents to know that you really do care and that you are afraid for them and for yourself. Sorry Em. I should have been paying closer attention. This whole thing takes me back to when I was waiting for my own phone call. I did check the lump this morning and to me it seems smaller and it is the only one there. I am hopeful but it will still be a day spent walking on eggshells.
Otherwise, I am still buried in homework. I am so aggravated by my online course. The teacher seems totally clueless about what is actually required in the course. I question her regularly and get the same answer each time -- I will have to check with the team that designed the course. I say, as a teacher myself, you should know what you require as the teacher. You should understand what your objectives are, what the assignments involve, and when they should due. The team, after all, is not getting paid to teach the course.
Keeping the faith - even more today~ :~)
Kim
Today might be different. I am waiting for a call from my daughter's doctor. She told me a few weeks ago that she had a lump on her neck and I told her to keep an eye on it and let me know if it changes. She had not said anything so I assumed that it had resolved. She tells me yesterday that the lump is still there and getting bigger and that there are other lumps too. We took a quick trip to the doctor's office and she had some blood work done. I am waiting to hear the results. Of course my first thought is lymphoma. After chatting with her on the way home she too is worried about it being cancer. It is "funny" how you think that people around your are totally unconcerned about what is happening and then you realize they have, in fact, been paying attention and that they have fears that they never voiced. I sometimes forget what it was like to be a teenager. You certainly don't want your parents to know that you really do care and that you are afraid for them and for yourself. Sorry Em. I should have been paying closer attention. This whole thing takes me back to when I was waiting for my own phone call. I did check the lump this morning and to me it seems smaller and it is the only one there. I am hopeful but it will still be a day spent walking on eggshells.
Otherwise, I am still buried in homework. I am so aggravated by my online course. The teacher seems totally clueless about what is actually required in the course. I question her regularly and get the same answer each time -- I will have to check with the team that designed the course. I say, as a teacher myself, you should know what you require as the teacher. You should understand what your objectives are, what the assignments involve, and when they should due. The team, after all, is not getting paid to teach the course.
Keeping the faith - even more today~ :~)
Kim
Monday, February 6, 2012
I'm tired
Today I started my third week of radiation. I think everything has caught up to me because I ended up sleeping for a couple of hours today. I didn't realize I was sleepy but when I put my head on the pillow and covered up with my favorite blanket the next thing I knew it was later. I finally just gave in to it and slept. I decided I didn't need to worry about what was sitting on my desk at that particular moment in time.
School has been crazy! My online course seems to create assignments on its own. As I finish one and turn it in and go to double check what needs to be done there is another assignment that I had not seen previously . They don't seem to be very meaningful either -- just more of the same. My in-class class is busy too. I just submitted a 158 page report. Luckily I am going to be able to edit that down and hopefully it will be under 100 pages. I am not getting my doctorate, just my masters and a submission that long is insane.
Beyond that, there is no work. I have been told by the sub coordinator that unless I am willing to go to the Exeter schools I can expect to have very little work until I come back from radiation. To this I say...oh well. I need to put me first right now. I will work when I can and otherwise I will just try to keep myself focused on getting better.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
School has been crazy! My online course seems to create assignments on its own. As I finish one and turn it in and go to double check what needs to be done there is another assignment that I had not seen previously . They don't seem to be very meaningful either -- just more of the same. My in-class class is busy too. I just submitted a 158 page report. Luckily I am going to be able to edit that down and hopefully it will be under 100 pages. I am not getting my doctorate, just my masters and a submission that long is insane.
Beyond that, there is no work. I have been told by the sub coordinator that unless I am willing to go to the Exeter schools I can expect to have very little work until I come back from radiation. To this I say...oh well. I need to put me first right now. I will work when I can and otherwise I will just try to keep myself focused on getting better.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
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