We are in the middle of a heat wave, which seems to be a common thing this summer. This one is nasty, though. With the dew point temperatures are up around 109 degrees. I know people in the south would not be very willing to offer much sympathy for this, but for us this is HOT! We are not made like this. Now, if temperatures were 10 degrees we would be perfectly fine with that, where southerners might not. I can actually see heat waves outside my window right now. I have not watered the garden in days so I am willing to bet there will be no tomatoes this fall. The beans died a while ago. Cucumbers are probably not very likely either. The potatoes will still grow though.
Inside is not too bad. We are hovering around 75, I believe, even though the air conditioning it set on 67. There is no way it will keep up with that much of a challenge. Extra fans and less clothing works just fine in keeping my temperature down. I might even jump into a cool shower if things get too uncomfortable. Boy am I sorry I got rid of the pool right now. A quick swim and a run back into the air conditioning always felt WONDERFUL.
This is my week without treatment. I feel relatively well, a little nauseous, probably from the heat. My sinuses are stuffy too, probably from the awful air. I might need to take a nap later but for now I am holding in. My homework has just been finished. Hopefully I remembered everything. Next week I look forward to having my last chemo infusion. I look forward to not being stuck with a needle on a regular basis. I look forward to not being nauseous all the time. I do not, however, look forward to having surgery. No matter what, cutting the body hurts. I know it is going to be far less severe than it would have been before chemo but still, who wants to be cut open. I meet with the surgeon Tuesday so hopefully I will know when and for how long I will be out of commission. I dread being away from the family for too, too long. A couple of days should be great though. Let them deal with my stuff.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
Friday, July 22, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Tough treatment this week
I am not complaining, really. The infusion just hit me a little harder this week than any other week. I just wanted to sleep and the nausea was a little rough. Things are better now. I have been sleeping as much as I can and trying really hard to keep myself hydrated and my tummy happy. I seem to be loving milk right now. Silly thing! I have never really not liked milk -- I just didn't really have a focus on it. Now I do. It seems to settle my tummy better than anything else. It's good for me too.
There has been a lot of homework to worry about this week too. I seem to be at my computer typing away for days on end and get no closer to having everything done. I guess it is just that we have come to the midpoint in the class and assignments are coming due. These are things, of course, that I could have been working on all along but I get so focused on the reading and doing the day-to-day things I forget about the big assignments looming in the distance. I did get a couple of very important things passed in today so that is progress. Now I have to go and read a case study so I can work on an action plan with my wiki group. I am a little concerned about this assignment since one of the ladies is in Arizona and will be starting school next week. Seems to me she will be a little preoccupied by that, but she seems to be plugged into the course too so I shouldn't worry about it. The other lady seems to post things quite late so I am not sure how that is going to go. I have faith in my peers and I am sure this is not an assignment I will complete by myself.
As for home, the heat is back. Not a fan, myself. The hubby has gotten his car issues mostly under control. There was a little glitch with the Acura but I am sure that will work itself out this week. Emily is already bored with her summer break. Lauren is stressed beyond belief about working so many hours and being a good manager. She needs a stress pill, I think. I am sure she is doing a wonderful job and that her GM is very impressed with her. As for me, I am suffering some simple annoyances of chemotherapy. My nails are sore and look horrible. I have heartburn. I am tired most of the time. I have one more infusion and then chemo is done. I meet my surgeon a week from Tuesday and I will know then what the plan of action will be. I am lined up for my last set of scans and will soon be able to say those too are behind me. Cancer free is a concept they are throwing around right now even though they have not said those exact words. Amazing progression to noncancer status is more in line with what the doctors have said. Cure is still on the horizon but I am tremendously hopeful.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
There has been a lot of homework to worry about this week too. I seem to be at my computer typing away for days on end and get no closer to having everything done. I guess it is just that we have come to the midpoint in the class and assignments are coming due. These are things, of course, that I could have been working on all along but I get so focused on the reading and doing the day-to-day things I forget about the big assignments looming in the distance. I did get a couple of very important things passed in today so that is progress. Now I have to go and read a case study so I can work on an action plan with my wiki group. I am a little concerned about this assignment since one of the ladies is in Arizona and will be starting school next week. Seems to me she will be a little preoccupied by that, but she seems to be plugged into the course too so I shouldn't worry about it. The other lady seems to post things quite late so I am not sure how that is going to go. I have faith in my peers and I am sure this is not an assignment I will complete by myself.
As for home, the heat is back. Not a fan, myself. The hubby has gotten his car issues mostly under control. There was a little glitch with the Acura but I am sure that will work itself out this week. Emily is already bored with her summer break. Lauren is stressed beyond belief about working so many hours and being a good manager. She needs a stress pill, I think. I am sure she is doing a wonderful job and that her GM is very impressed with her. As for me, I am suffering some simple annoyances of chemotherapy. My nails are sore and look horrible. I have heartburn. I am tired most of the time. I have one more infusion and then chemo is done. I meet my surgeon a week from Tuesday and I will know then what the plan of action will be. I am lined up for my last set of scans and will soon be able to say those too are behind me. Cancer free is a concept they are throwing around right now even though they have not said those exact words. Amazing progression to noncancer status is more in line with what the doctors have said. Cure is still on the horizon but I am tremendously hopeful.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
Monday, July 11, 2011
Things get old
I feel badly today about so many different things. I wish I had been able to give my children the life that they really wanted. It makes a parent sad to think their child is so unhappy that they would prefer to be anywhere else (including dead) than to be in the place where they are. I never understood the concept of suicide. I see it as an extremely selfish gesture that only hurts the ones left behind but I guess I can grasp the concept of hurting so much inside that you just want the pain to be gone. No, no one has committed suicide, but my younger daughter throws it into conversation (arguments) from time to time in an effort to get a reaction. Therapists have told us she is only threatening and has no real plan or desire, so not to worry. Easier said than done. Perhaps homicide would be more to her liking?! Just kidding. It does cross my mind on occasion though that in her fits of rage she might actually try to hurt one of us. It is a tough thing to deal with and it gets old trying to figure out the next move.
Know what else gets old...listening to people tell the same stories over and over again. You would think that once a reaction is noted you would not need to keep going back and looking for a different one. First reactions are often the most genuine and accurate, but not always. I would think that after the tenth or twentieth times though when the reaction did not change the stories could be put to bed. No one particular in mind on this one, of course. There are actually so many repeaters that I have lost count.
And another thing...it gets old really quick to have a routine in place and a method for accomplishing things that has not changed but that some people just never seem to grasp (i.e., the calender on the wall for those concerned) or the fact that I will not answer the phone until I see who is calling. It amazes me the number of times I just get to my cell phone when my husband will hang up and call the house phone, which leaves me running for yet another phone. Gee whiz! And if you know I am home, don't leave a message because I will just call you right back. Leaving a message means that when you call me back in a minute, and you know you will, I will be retrieving the voice mail. Silly, silly, silly!
It might seem that I am a little crabby today but really I am not. I was just thinking about thinks that make me twitch -- you know, pet peeves. I thought I would get a couple down before I move on with my life. I actually have to get ready for class tonight. I wanted to get my philosophy statement done before I leave and perhaps figure out the wiki assignments I need to do (for both classes). I would also like to gather my questions for my research paper before I see my dad on Friday. I would like to get writing so I can check those off my list. SO much to do in so little time.
One more it gets old... treating cancer. That gets old really quickly, especially when there is no real progress to note. The tumor is "gone." There are two infusion treatments left including this one this week and then we move to surgery. I will know in a couple of weeks when surgery will be scheduled. After that I will begin to contemplate radiation. I am tired. I am tired of talking about cancer. I am tired of traveling to Boston to get treatment. I am tired of getting treatment. I am tired of not feeling well afterwards and having to lay around the house a lot of the time because I have no energy. I am tired of being in the dark because it is too hot to be outside so I am inside with the curtains drawn. I am tired of not tasting food and having a dry mouth from my medications. I am certainly tired of being bald and bloated. Yes, I think treating cancer is what I would say gets old the fastest!
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
Know what else gets old...listening to people tell the same stories over and over again. You would think that once a reaction is noted you would not need to keep going back and looking for a different one. First reactions are often the most genuine and accurate, but not always. I would think that after the tenth or twentieth times though when the reaction did not change the stories could be put to bed. No one particular in mind on this one, of course. There are actually so many repeaters that I have lost count.
And another thing...it gets old really quick to have a routine in place and a method for accomplishing things that has not changed but that some people just never seem to grasp (i.e., the calender on the wall for those concerned) or the fact that I will not answer the phone until I see who is calling. It amazes me the number of times I just get to my cell phone when my husband will hang up and call the house phone, which leaves me running for yet another phone. Gee whiz! And if you know I am home, don't leave a message because I will just call you right back. Leaving a message means that when you call me back in a minute, and you know you will, I will be retrieving the voice mail. Silly, silly, silly!
It might seem that I am a little crabby today but really I am not. I was just thinking about thinks that make me twitch -- you know, pet peeves. I thought I would get a couple down before I move on with my life. I actually have to get ready for class tonight. I wanted to get my philosophy statement done before I leave and perhaps figure out the wiki assignments I need to do (for both classes). I would also like to gather my questions for my research paper before I see my dad on Friday. I would like to get writing so I can check those off my list. SO much to do in so little time.
One more it gets old... treating cancer. That gets old really quickly, especially when there is no real progress to note. The tumor is "gone." There are two infusion treatments left including this one this week and then we move to surgery. I will know in a couple of weeks when surgery will be scheduled. After that I will begin to contemplate radiation. I am tired. I am tired of talking about cancer. I am tired of traveling to Boston to get treatment. I am tired of getting treatment. I am tired of not feeling well afterwards and having to lay around the house a lot of the time because I have no energy. I am tired of being in the dark because it is too hot to be outside so I am inside with the curtains drawn. I am tired of not tasting food and having a dry mouth from my medications. I am certainly tired of being bald and bloated. Yes, I think treating cancer is what I would say gets old the fastest!
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
Sunday, July 10, 2011
I sometimes wonder...
Why did I have children? Why did I insist on getting the dog? Why am I the only one (few exceptions) who knows how to start the laundry? Why can I not keep my house clean? When is my hair going to actually grow (present stubble appreciated but questionable)? Does anyone really care? (Yes I know they do!) Why does summer have to be so hot? Why can I be so self-absorbed sometimes? Why are some people so superficial and self-centered? Ahhhh..... No I don't expect any answers really.
Today is a beautiful Sunday. The temperatures have been tolerable and the humidity is down. There is really nothing to complain about. I have not had to work all weekend because I worked Friday, which I don't usually do. I have to check my school work sites but that shouldn't take too long. All my assignments have been submitted and I am already working on the reading for this week's class. Time management has not been so much of an issue this week. I have actually had enough time to make hubby take me for a ride on his motorcycle. Nothing too exciting -- just a run for gas and milk.
The coming week might be more challenging though. I have class tomorrow and have a couple of assignments due that actually require me to write something. I have a philosophy statement regarding diversity to create and a group project on addressing poverty in the classroom. I also have a critical task due in the other class but I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing with it. I was pretty sure I had done everything I needed to do with it but it was supposed to be an ongoing project over the past few weeks and there has been no feedback from the teacher. This is why I really prefer face-to-face classes rather than online classes. If I have a question I can present it directly and not via e-mails. Something seems to get lost in e-mail communications.
I also have treatment this week and injection too. This will be the treatment before the last treatment or as I refer to it, the last treatment before we wear our t-shirts. The girls and I made t-shirts for the family that we will wear to our last infusion. Treatment this week is early, 6:45. That means we need to leave here by 5:15 or so. Next week is 6:30 so it will be 5:00 at the latest. It will be funny seeing the girls drag themselves out of bed so we can be on the road by 5:00. Teenagers up by 5:00 a.m. -- can you imagine?! We meet with the surgeon soon and I am hopeful that the treatment plan will be changed and will not require as much surgery or radiation. I am dreading 30 treatments of radiation for a tumor that has pretty much disappeared. Doesn't really make sense to me. Of course, I will do as I am told -- be the good patient I am supposed to be. I want it gone, by any means necessary.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
Today is a beautiful Sunday. The temperatures have been tolerable and the humidity is down. There is really nothing to complain about. I have not had to work all weekend because I worked Friday, which I don't usually do. I have to check my school work sites but that shouldn't take too long. All my assignments have been submitted and I am already working on the reading for this week's class. Time management has not been so much of an issue this week. I have actually had enough time to make hubby take me for a ride on his motorcycle. Nothing too exciting -- just a run for gas and milk.
The coming week might be more challenging though. I have class tomorrow and have a couple of assignments due that actually require me to write something. I have a philosophy statement regarding diversity to create and a group project on addressing poverty in the classroom. I also have a critical task due in the other class but I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing with it. I was pretty sure I had done everything I needed to do with it but it was supposed to be an ongoing project over the past few weeks and there has been no feedback from the teacher. This is why I really prefer face-to-face classes rather than online classes. If I have a question I can present it directly and not via e-mails. Something seems to get lost in e-mail communications.
I also have treatment this week and injection too. This will be the treatment before the last treatment or as I refer to it, the last treatment before we wear our t-shirts. The girls and I made t-shirts for the family that we will wear to our last infusion. Treatment this week is early, 6:45. That means we need to leave here by 5:15 or so. Next week is 6:30 so it will be 5:00 at the latest. It will be funny seeing the girls drag themselves out of bed so we can be on the road by 5:00. Teenagers up by 5:00 a.m. -- can you imagine?! We meet with the surgeon soon and I am hopeful that the treatment plan will be changed and will not require as much surgery or radiation. I am dreading 30 treatments of radiation for a tumor that has pretty much disappeared. Doesn't really make sense to me. Of course, I will do as I am told -- be the good patient I am supposed to be. I want it gone, by any means necessary.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
Friday, July 8, 2011
Too hot to blog lately!
Sorry folks. Once the thermometer hits 85 everything shuts down. I cannot function, even in the air conditioning and this has absolutely NOTHING to do with the cancer. This is just life. I hate the heat!! It is safe to say that I will never spend extended time south of the Mason Dixon line. Then again, I am not too fond of the cold either so going any further north is probably just as unlikely. There has to be some place in the world where the temperature is around 75 to 80 degrees year round. That is my ideal!
So since this is a week without chemo there is not really much to write about. I feel okay most of the time. Sleep is still tough. I really need to be in the air conditioning and any time it is over 70 (the temperature in the house) I am awake all night. I will be so happy when things are back to normal and I can regulate my body temperature better. I overheat so quickly and then get cold so quickly that I am constantly flipping the blankets on and off -- keeps the husband up all night too.
Next week is my almost last treatment (one treatment left after that). We have t-shirts we made to wear to the last treatment so I consider this next one the last treatment before we wear our t-shirts. Hubby is going to take pictures and hopefully a video to send off to GMA for Your Three Words, which is a segment they do on the weekends. I am considering donning the baldness for this special once in a lifetime picture. The kids are still planning to do a photo shoot of me and my hats, when the are home for more than a few minutes or to sleep. We will just have to wait it out. I am still considering whether to post them on Facebook or not. There are a couple of pictures that a friend posted from a party with the wig on, which I am not sure how I feel about. I am not really happy with the overall appearance of myself right now. Bloated and bald is never a good look.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
So since this is a week without chemo there is not really much to write about. I feel okay most of the time. Sleep is still tough. I really need to be in the air conditioning and any time it is over 70 (the temperature in the house) I am awake all night. I will be so happy when things are back to normal and I can regulate my body temperature better. I overheat so quickly and then get cold so quickly that I am constantly flipping the blankets on and off -- keeps the husband up all night too.
Next week is my almost last treatment (one treatment left after that). We have t-shirts we made to wear to the last treatment so I consider this next one the last treatment before we wear our t-shirts. Hubby is going to take pictures and hopefully a video to send off to GMA for Your Three Words, which is a segment they do on the weekends. I am considering donning the baldness for this special once in a lifetime picture. The kids are still planning to do a photo shoot of me and my hats, when the are home for more than a few minutes or to sleep. We will just have to wait it out. I am still considering whether to post them on Facebook or not. There are a couple of pictures that a friend posted from a party with the wig on, which I am not sure how I feel about. I am not really happy with the overall appearance of myself right now. Bloated and bald is never a good look.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
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