When I heard the diagnosis cancer I thought...mastectomy, chemo, radiation, nausea, vomiting, sickness, being tired, and losing my hair. What never occurred to me is that I would not have these symptoms, but there would be others. I have not really been particularly nauseous or had vomiting. I have not felt particularly sick. I have not yet "lost" my hair -- my daughters shaved it for me. Mastectomy is not necessarily the only solution in my case but that is something we will decide later this summer. I have had days when I have been very tired and needed to rest, but most have been "normal." My biggest complaints have been heartburn, hemorrhoids (Sorry folks!), and hot flashes. I no longer like black jelly beans. The thought of them makes me queasy. Steve is loving this though. I am craving chocolate BIG TIME, but gave it up for Lent. I will persevere.
I didn't think about how long the journey was going to be. I decided at the beginning to take it one day at a time, one minute at a time if necessary. I am gearing up for my third chemo session now and I have 16 total. I can't think about the whole course right now. Today is good. Tomorrow might be tough, or not. I am living for this moment, something I have never been able to do before but have always wanted to. This moment is good.
I didn't think about how much I love my family and they love me. We too often take this for granted. We are loved and loved. Cherish is the word I use now. I cherish each moment we get to be together. They seem to be getting few and far between the further into the course we go. Things are starting to get crazy as we get ready for Passover and Easter. So much to do and sometimes not enough energy. Again, I go back to the moment at a time. Family is here to help. I ask for help now and will hopefully continue to do so in the future. Rest is my friend. I rest when I need to. I cherish this journey that brings me such wonderful insight.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
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