I graduated from wound clinic today! They gave me a diploma and tassel and sent me on my way. Finally, it is done!
So what's next? I have to lose about 60 pounds and develop an activity plan so that I reduce my chances for recurrence. There are news reports every day about the connection between obesity and inactivity and cancer. Having been down this road once I hope to never travel it again. That, of course, means taking off this weight I am carrying around and making sure that the remaining 40s decade is geared towards being healthy and enjoying my life. That sounds so easy but each day so far I have found an excuse to avoid working out. I am eating well though, although that could always use improvement. Better choices, better life!
All of a sudden I am tired. After getting home from wound clinic and the vet (for Bubba, not me) I sat on the couch for a minute and half an hour later I woke up. I just seem to be dragging myself around today. I finally took a vitamin B and I think that has made some difference but there is so much that needs to be accomplished this weekend I think I am feeling a little overwhelmed with the prospect -- Same as every other year when Passover gets here. This year I will be in my own kitchen running things. Lauren is coming to help and I think Steve and Emily have plans to be elsewhere and involved in something else until the time comes for sedar. I don't think I blame them. :)
Enjoying life!
Kim
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
I know I should feel badly but I don't!
Today is a gorgeous day! It is in the 70s and sunny and there is a light breeze blowing through the windows. I had thought I might be working today but it didn't work out that way. So...I am hanging out pretty much doing nothing. I did start cleaning out the spare bedroom so that I can clean for Passover but I hit a roadblock in that the wall needs to be painted. I started getting the stuff together to do that but I have to wait for the mud to dry on the places I patched -- yes dear I did take the wall mounts for the shelves down and I did not damage the walls. I just smoothed out the edges. There is one screw that was determined not to come out, so I left it there. As soon as I locate the Dremel I will take care of that!
In the meantime, there is always more homework to do. I turned in my strategy notebook already but still have to work on my reading final task. I gave up on caring whether I am doing it right or not and will submit what I think I am supposed to be submitting. I already blew the 4.0 anyway.
My puppy is outside enjoying the sunshine. My cat is whining upstairs for some unknown reason -- she is really needy today. The other one is missing, probably in the garage. She will show up eventually. I did notice the garage door had been left open so I am sure if she is not sleeping under the bed upstairs she is investigating the garage. She can't get out so it's not a problem. School tonight. One more class left after that, then two new classes.
Enjoying spring!
Kim :~)
In the meantime, there is always more homework to do. I turned in my strategy notebook already but still have to work on my reading final task. I gave up on caring whether I am doing it right or not and will submit what I think I am supposed to be submitting. I already blew the 4.0 anyway.
My puppy is outside enjoying the sunshine. My cat is whining upstairs for some unknown reason -- she is really needy today. The other one is missing, probably in the garage. She will show up eventually. I did notice the garage door had been left open so I am sure if she is not sleeping under the bed upstairs she is investigating the garage. She can't get out so it's not a problem. School tonight. One more class left after that, then two new classes.
Enjoying spring!
Kim :~)
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Getting busy again
I know I should have learned better over the past year to take some time for me but I find myself once again feeling like I am on the go all the time. I have returned to work and I am so happy that I have. I missed being in the classroom working with students on a regular basis. That being said, however, I also find myself really tired this weekend. I even had to teach a lesson this morning, which is Saturday, for my own school work so that I can finish up my literature review. I finally threw up my hands where that is concerned too. I am supposed to submit a rough draft of my review by tomorrow at midnight. I honestly did not even know what a literature review was. I finally googled it and got a sample to work by. I think I should be able to get the review done by tomorrow but I am not sure how everything I have done for this assignment works together. There are two weeks left to class and then I can put this behind me for good! Can't wait.
My other class, on the other hand, is going very well. I actually did complete my critical task and now only have to organize it into the book format so it can be entered into my portfolio. I am going to print a copy, which is going to empty my inkwells and deplete my paper supply, but I want to have a printed copy that I can use until I can afford to have one professionally created and bound. I am hoping my girlfriend's husband can help me with this project but if not I am sure I can figure out where else to have it done.
Healthwise, I feel great. Treatments ended March 5th and I have had a followup with my surgeon's nurse practitioner and the wound clinic. Both are very pleased with the progress I have made. The wound clinic actually decided that I should stop packing the wound. The cauterized it and told me to simply keep gauze over the wound so any drainage will be taken care of and that I should just let it heal up at this point. Sounds great to me! The funny thing is that I find myself standing in the bathroom wondering why I am there and feeling like I need to do something. My guess is that it will take me a few days to get used to not having to focus on my breast every day. The radiation burns have healed almost completely, even at the boost site, and I am guessing by the time I go back to the radiation oncologist for my followup on the 26th the appearance will be pretty much back to normal. Will have to wait and see.
Keeping the faith!
Kim :~)
My other class, on the other hand, is going very well. I actually did complete my critical task and now only have to organize it into the book format so it can be entered into my portfolio. I am going to print a copy, which is going to empty my inkwells and deplete my paper supply, but I want to have a printed copy that I can use until I can afford to have one professionally created and bound. I am hoping my girlfriend's husband can help me with this project but if not I am sure I can figure out where else to have it done.
Healthwise, I feel great. Treatments ended March 5th and I have had a followup with my surgeon's nurse practitioner and the wound clinic. Both are very pleased with the progress I have made. The wound clinic actually decided that I should stop packing the wound. The cauterized it and told me to simply keep gauze over the wound so any drainage will be taken care of and that I should just let it heal up at this point. Sounds great to me! The funny thing is that I find myself standing in the bathroom wondering why I am there and feeling like I need to do something. My guess is that it will take me a few days to get used to not having to focus on my breast every day. The radiation burns have healed almost completely, even at the boost site, and I am guessing by the time I go back to the radiation oncologist for my followup on the 26th the appearance will be pretty much back to normal. Will have to wait and see.
Keeping the faith!
Kim :~)
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Yesterday was great...today is quiet!
I'm still wondering when I am going to get the rush of emotions that everyone is telling me I will get now that this is over. I feel like, especially with the help of this blog, I have dealt with issues as they came up. I have been mad, sad, frustrated, hurt, upset, relieved, happy, and all the other emotions one would expect with a diagnosis like this. Steve and I never stopped fighting when we got upset with each other. We never held anything back. Still, I wait.
Yesterday was the day I expected to fall apart. Rather than that I threw myself into activity. I would like to think that rather than having a breakdown I had a breakthrough. I decided I needed to do what I wanted to do and not let anyone tell me I shouldn't bother because ... I invested in myself and made some great choices. I still have some avoidant behavior to work through (like now when I should be writing a paper for school) but that will come in time (I will do the paper as soon as I am through here!). I felt happy and positive, looking forward not back. I set goals and congratulated myself for making them.
Today I am more laid back. I am avoiding that paper. I have to go out and get my transcription work. I should take the dog for a walk. I want to ride my bike while it is warm out and my ears won't freeze. I am going to set my priorities and get the list started but first I wanted to get myself organized and check the computer tasks off my list. Now I feel I have done that and I will move on to the next thing on my list. Tomorrow is another day and I will do the same...put my feet on the floor getting out of bed and then put one foot in front of the other until it is time to put them back under the covers for the night. Thank you Lord for one more day!
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
Yesterday was the day I expected to fall apart. Rather than that I threw myself into activity. I would like to think that rather than having a breakdown I had a breakthrough. I decided I needed to do what I wanted to do and not let anyone tell me I shouldn't bother because ... I invested in myself and made some great choices. I still have some avoidant behavior to work through (like now when I should be writing a paper for school) but that will come in time (I will do the paper as soon as I am through here!). I felt happy and positive, looking forward not back. I set goals and congratulated myself for making them.
Today I am more laid back. I am avoiding that paper. I have to go out and get my transcription work. I should take the dog for a walk. I want to ride my bike while it is warm out and my ears won't freeze. I am going to set my priorities and get the list started but first I wanted to get myself organized and check the computer tasks off my list. Now I feel I have done that and I will move on to the next thing on my list. Tomorrow is another day and I will do the same...put my feet on the floor getting out of bed and then put one foot in front of the other until it is time to put them back under the covers for the night. Thank you Lord for one more day!
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
Monday, March 5, 2012
Today I am joyful!
TREATMENT IS DONE! Everything looks good. I feel positive and peaceful, yet anxious. How long does it take to get used to not having to see a doctor regularly? I guess I will have to wait and see. I still have to heal the wound but I suspect that will happen soon too and then what?
I should be heading back to work full days this week. I am taking tomorrow to veg and reflect. I know today's joy may just be a momentary thing. I hope not, but I am ready if so. It was funny...as I was driving away from radiation this morning the song playing on the radio was Fleetwood Mac's Don't Stop. As I am singing along I listen to the words and I say, ahhhhh yes...this could be divine intervention. Don't stop thinking about tomorrow, don't stop it'll soon be here. It'll be better than before. Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone. Maybe I am reaching a little bit but it seems like divine intervention to me, especially since the very next son was U2's Beautiful Day. Little things like that make me go hmmmm...
I have been pacing the house since I got home wondering what to do with myself. No I really don't want to vacuum the floors and no I really don't care if the dishes are still sitting in the sink. Yes I do want to ride my bike even though it means trekking through the snow and dragging it out. I suppose I could throw on my snowshoes but then I would have to take them off just to ride my bicycle. I finally gave in after much debate with myself. I took the bike out and rode it around the neighborhood. It was COLD but it sure felt good to be pedaling. Maybe later I will reacquaint myself with the eliptical, which I have avoided for the past few weeks. We will walk tonight and that will be icing. In the meantime, I will play Words with Friends and do whatever else hits my fancy.
Keeping the faith! (Darn glad I did)
Kim :~)
I should be heading back to work full days this week. I am taking tomorrow to veg and reflect. I know today's joy may just be a momentary thing. I hope not, but I am ready if so. It was funny...as I was driving away from radiation this morning the song playing on the radio was Fleetwood Mac's Don't Stop. As I am singing along I listen to the words and I say, ahhhhh yes...this could be divine intervention. Don't stop thinking about tomorrow, don't stop it'll soon be here. It'll be better than before. Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone. Maybe I am reaching a little bit but it seems like divine intervention to me, especially since the very next son was U2's Beautiful Day. Little things like that make me go hmmmm...
I have been pacing the house since I got home wondering what to do with myself. No I really don't want to vacuum the floors and no I really don't care if the dishes are still sitting in the sink. Yes I do want to ride my bike even though it means trekking through the snow and dragging it out. I suppose I could throw on my snowshoes but then I would have to take them off just to ride my bicycle. I finally gave in after much debate with myself. I took the bike out and rode it around the neighborhood. It was COLD but it sure felt good to be pedaling. Maybe later I will reacquaint myself with the eliptical, which I have avoided for the past few weeks. We will walk tonight and that will be icing. In the meantime, I will play Words with Friends and do whatever else hits my fancy.
Keeping the faith! (Darn glad I did)
Kim :~)
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