The beginning of the end

I thought I wouldn't get here.  I now have three chemo treatments left.  I was really anxious about this new drug regimen but so far it has been only slightly more annoying.  I had quite a bit of nausea yesterday after receiving the infusions but today has not been as bad.  It has soured my appetite a bit but that is perfectly okay with me.  I have gained 10 pounds since starting chemo and I would certainly like to take that off before I finish.  I am grateful, in a sense, for the belly fat though since I now have to give myself injections after chemo to help my blood counts stay up.  I was really worried about that when they told me I would have to do it but after training and injecting today it really was no problem. 

I am looking forward to having a conversation that does not involve the word cancer.  I would like to talk with my neighbors again about what is going on in the neighborhood or how the kids are doing, like we used to.  I want to speak with family and not have them ask how I am feeling because of the cancer but because they want to know how I am doing.  I want to discuss future happenings with my kids and not have to worry about how I am going to feel or what appointments I am going to have to reschedule in order to prepare for the happenings.  Soon...

I am changing and so is my family.  This challenge we have been presented with has certainly given us a new perspective on life and how we should be dealing with each other.  Sometimes that is a really good thing but then other times I think it has made me a little jaded.  I am certainly saddened by those in my family of origin who have never reached out to me.  There are a couple I have never heard from whom  I certainly should have.  It makes me wonder if they really couldn't care less or whether they just don't have the capacity to cope with a situation that is not in their immediate realm of concerns.  I guess I just want to be important to everyone who is important to me.  That seems a little self-centered, I know but at a time like this one of my lessons learned is that I have the right to be.

Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim