I thought hearing the words "cancer free" would end this journey for me emotionally. Unfortunately I am not superwoman, superwife, or supermom. My body is human and I must respect the limitations it has. I developed a major infection in my lumpectomy wound and required incision and drainage (another surgery). Since then I have had to have VNA come into my home on a daily basis to change the bandages. I have two drains in the wounds that continue to leak fluid. I have never seen anything as disgusting as this. I cannot even look at it without getting the dry heaves -- which is why I am a teacher and not a nurse. Still, healing is occurring and things look better than they did a week ago. I am certainly more comfortable and there are no signs of infection at this time. Thank God!!!
It is funny how long this journey has been. I expected once I hopped on treatment that time would fly by and then it would be over. It appears that this is going to be a bit longer than I anticipated. My 2011 will be gone before I am healed. Radiation will likely need to be put off a couple of weeks, which brings the end of that to December rather than November. Hopefully no further surgeries will be required and the drains will do the jobs, allowing the abscess to close and heal completely. What an idiot I was for thinking that I could hop back into my life as before with no concerns about what I had been through.
I am sad too. I have not been able to work in almost six months. It appears I will not be able to work for at least another two months, maybe three. I am grateful that I have my transcription to fall back on so I have at least a little money coming in to pay my bills. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have at least that. I miss being in the classroom. I miss interacting with the kids. I miss exchanging ideas with the teachers and learning new strategies. Patience is the only hope at this point. I know there is a plan. I must simply be patient while it plays out.
Keeping the faith! :~)
Kim
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