This is not what I expected

Isn't it funny...especially for those of us who have always planned out every little aspect of our lives...how things don't always go as you planned.  Take this cancer thing, for example.  When I first got the diagnosis I thought I would get treatment and then move on with my life.  I was going to be in charge and I was going to make the experience what I thought it should be.  How funny that things didn't go as I planned.  Luckily I can say I am cancer free at this point.  I am a survivor.  I did lose my hair.  I did not lose weight like I thought I would.  I was not sick like I thought I would be.  I was tired.  I did have physical discomforts.  I really had no pain (except the hemorrhoids) except when I got the infection.  It was painful to raise my arm.  It was excruciatingly painful to try to lie on my stomach.  No matter how I tried to sleep, it was not always happening.  I could nap during the day, but usually only for 20 minutes or so.  I am not really in charge of this process. 

What I have learned so far...  First, no one gets an easy ride where cancer is concerned.  Symptoms are different for each of us but no one comes out of this unscathed.  This year is lost to me as far as my plan is concerned.  I did accomplish some of the things I set out to do but others will never be accomplished now.  I have missed a year of teaching.  I cannot get that back.  It appears likely that I will not return to teaching until next year given that I still have to wait for this infection to completely heal and then have radiation before I can return to the classroom, although that is not entirely clear yet.  The things on my checklist; i.e., chemo, surgery, radiation, cannot be checked off in my time frame.  I must wait until healing happens.  I have also learned that my agenda is not as important as the one God has for me.  At this point I have to listen and pay attention to what comes next.  Doors have closed.  I have to find the open window. 

Thank you to my family and friends once again.  I could never have made it through without you.  Thank you to Bubba, Katie, Maddie, Bubbles, and Monsta!  It is amazing how much joy pets bring into your life and how much support they offer in their own way. 

Keeping the faith!  :~)
Kim