Sometimes I forget...

There are days that I do not think about having cancer that often.  Today was one of those days.  I woke up early, as usual, and walked the dog.  It was warmish, not at all like a typical November day here in New England.  After that I had breakfast with the hubby and sent him off to work.  Emily was the next to head out the door and then I relaxed with the dog and my cup of coffee.  Everything seemed totally "normal."  Later I went out to pick up my transcription and go to the bank.  Again, everything seemed totally "normal."  I had an assignment at school this afternoon and took care of that, no problems (except my wig, which did not want to stay on my head).  I didn't think about my doctors or taking care of my boo-boos until someone at school asked me how I was feeling.  I said I felt terrific and couldn't wait to start radiation and get this adventure over with.  That was around 3:30 this afternoon.  It was nice to have a day when I was not focused on my illness and could just be me. 

The cold set in later this afternoon, but that was okay.  I actually did a walking work out and then completely finished my transcription.  I also got a call for an assignment tomorrow already too.  I might just forget tomorrow about my issues too.  We will have to see how I feel when I wake up. 

Christmas is coming and I do feel a little blue this year.  Lauren is gone and nothing is the same.  I have tried to do some decorating and cooking but I still feel like there is a hole that I need to fill.  No work, the kids are growing up, and the weather is warmish.  It just didn't feel right.  I think I am going to do some shopping tomorrow before I have to go to work and hopefully that will help get me in the mood.  I miss my family, who are spread all over the place at this point, and we are just not close.  Unfortunately there is too much water under the bridge for us to ever be a close family again.  Some of us find it too hard to forgive past injuries and continue to let the past ruin the present day.  Too bad the present isn't good enough that they have to reach back to feel something.  :(

Anyway, I will keep plugging along -- try to keep the spirit up and look forward to more days that I almost forget that cancer had taken over my life.  2011 is almost over and I look forward to a much better 2012.

Keeping the faith!  :~)
Kim